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Well hello there! I can’t believe it has been two full weeks since I’ve jump on and finished a post. Well I can believe it because it has been a crazy last couple of weeks. My third trimester has been a storm, a beautiful storm but nonetheless a storm.
The nursery is almost finished (Praise Jesus)! It was a lot more work than I expected, more expensive than pinterest said it would be and it took way longer than I wanted, but it is almost finished! If you follow me on instagram you have seen the progress. I have posted pictures on my instastories (analybernal) and Snapchat (analy.bernal). I am so thankful for the village of folks that have made my vision come to life. I am in the process of gathering all those photos to share the stages of the chaos. Anyways, I really wanted to hop on and share the way the Lord has steady my heart through the worries that want to cross my on a daily basis.
I’ll be honest when when I say that I have to fight the enemies lies on a daily basis when it comes to many aspects of life, but as I get closer to giving birth to Harmon I have to fight the lie that something is going to go wrong or that I won’t come home with a baby. Typing that just brings tears to eyes. I recognize that those thoughts are harsh and that is because they are. The enemy, the devil, would want nothing more than for me to believe that God would allow something that hard to happen because I’m not worthy of being a mama to this sweet boy.
There have been moments when I sit and cry in the nursery at the thought of coming home empty handed and having to deal with the worst thing ever. Like I said I know those thoughts are harsh and evil, but they are real. When I look back at how hard and unpredictable my story has been those thoughts don’t seem to far out of a reality. I wonder if God would do that to me to see if I would still praise Him and chose to follow Him. I wonder if He would allow more destruction to be part of my story to bring Him more glory. In the moments the enemy wants to still my joy and security in my Jesus I have to find the strength to fight Him off with God’s promises and not worry about what is to come. Afterall He clothes the flowers in the fields and feeds the birds daily, how much more will He do for Harmon and I (Matthew 6:25-34).
I have avoid reading any books or listening to all the things that could go wrong during pregnancy, because there is enough out there to make you want to live in a bubble and that’s just not my style. However a several days ago I read a post about a family who lost their baby shortly after labor. The baby’s oxygen had been cut off at some point during pregnancy and it caused serious brain damage and the baby did not make it! In my heart I thanked the Lord for the strength of those parents who were willing to share their story and give Jesus all the glory through the heartache, but it wasn’t long before I felt my heart grow weary and wonder if at any point I would have done anything to cause the oxygen supply to be cut off. Let’s face it pregnancy has not stopped me from living this adventurous life! My workout routine and non stop style has had very little modifications, which I am extremely thankful for but I could not help but wonder if perhaps I should have taken a different approach.
At my last doctor’s appointment they did a sonogram which brought a lot of peace to my heart. The nurse measured Harmon’s weight, looked at his organs and saw his breathing patterns! It was as though the Lord knew I needed that assurance because that sort of sonogram was not scheduled for that particular checkup, but the God of providence made it all happen! Harmon is almost six pounds and in the right position for labor. Sweet boy has several more weeks to continue to grow and fatten up! (bring on the chunky baby thighs)
That same night I read the Jesus Story Book Bible to Harmon and it was Jesus teaching on Matthew 6: 25-34. I cried like a baby! I mean come on!!! He calms my fears by morning and by evening takes me to His word to remind me of His’ truth! He is faithful y’all!
As those lies try to creep in here are the promises I hold tight to:
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:24-35)
I have seen victories in His name
Remember also your Creator in the days of your youth… (Ecc 12:1a)
I am never forsaken or forgotten
I have been young and now I am old, Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken Or his descendants begging bread. (Psalm 37:25)
He knows me
Then she called the name of the LORD who spoke to her, “You are a God who sees”; for she said, “Have I even remained alive here after seeing Him?” (Genesis 16:13)
But now, this is what the LORD says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. (Isaiah 43:1)
I can trust Him
Those who know your name trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you. (Psalm 9:10)
Sovereign LORD, you are God! Your covenant is trustworthy, and you have promised these good things to your servant. (2 Samuel 7:28)
I can choose Joy because He is good
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13)