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It’s hard to believe how fast my second trimester flew by. I went into it thinking it would feel like the longest because it’s right in the middle. You know it’s not the beginning where everything is new and it’s not at the end where it is just a waiting game. The last fourteen weeks felt like four.
The second trimester started off with awful and constant headaches for four weeks straight. They were there when I woke up and there when I went to bed. It seemed as though the only way to escape them was to sleep. So I took a lot of naps during those four weeks. I did not want to take tylenol every single day so I sucked it up and tried to handled them as well as possible. Some days they turned into migraines, so I would surround my head with ice packs, turn off all the lights and sleep. My mom was really concerned and kept telling me my headaches were probably stresses induced but I was in denial. I thought I was handling my stress well until one day my mom reminded me of all that I was walking through. I realized that being pregnant, dealing with the absence of Harmon’s dad, losing my job and constantly looking for a way to provide was a lot! I finally stopped long enough to hear the Lord’s voice. “My yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matt 11:30) it was then that I surrendered. I did not give up but I gave into His grace and the headaches went away. I stopped trying to take control of the mess. I handed it over.
After the headaches went away I felt great! I was constantly asked how I was feeling and I always felt a little bad for saying ” I feel so great I don’t feel pregnant”. I had energy, I was working out as normal, my body just felt good, which is pretty normal for the second trimester. I definitely had no complaints about feeling that great! My bump finally started to grow. I would wake up and head to the mirror to see how much Harmon grew overnight. Every once in awhile I could see a difference or I would try something on and just laugh because it no longer fit.
As many of you know I did fall through my attic floor onto my dining room table. That was a bit traumatic. You can read that full post here. I did not experience any pain during the incident but I was really worried about Harmon. I was in tears as I waited to be picked up to go to the hospital. I couldn’t help but imagine the worst as I prayed to the Lord my child to keep. I kept going back to the beginning of my pregnancy when I was unsure about this new life. I did not want a baby. I was scared to death and prayed daily that the Lord would take this baby way. I prayed for a missacrage, to get into an accident or to just wake up from what felt like a nightmare, but during that wait I prayed that the Lord would keep my sweet baby safe. The baby that just a few months earlier I had prayed to be taken away. That baby was the only thing my heart desired. Being at the hospital and seeing the urgency of the nurses and doctors made me realize just how serious my fall was. Harmon’s heart was monitored for about six hours. He did not skip a beat. Harmon Mayne has a purpose and there was no way a crazy fall as going to stop that. I’m extremely thankful for the lord’s grace in that situation.
I am convinced that my second trimester is one for the books. A couple of weeks after the attic fall my hands and feet began to itch like never before. I had never experience such frustrating skin irritation. I literally wanted to scream because I just could not handle the itching. I tried almond oil, stretching cream/oil, a shower, antibacterial soap, but the only thing that worked was sleeping. I had to stop what I was doing and go to sleep. The next morning I called the doctor and explained what was going on. She asked me to come in for labs to make sure it was not cholestasis of pregnancy. It would have been extremely unusual for someone to have to it this early in their pregnancy but leave it to me to go against the odds. My first sets of labs came back normal and they diagnosed me as just being an itchy pregnant person. Weeks later my labs would reflect otherwise.
Giving into God’s grace has allowed to being enjoy my pregnancy in a way that I never imagined. It took away the shame and guilt. The feeling of needing to apologize or explain myself to everyone went away. I simply found joy in the expectancy of Harmon. I’m thankful for my story although I would have never written it for myself. I am thankful for the freedom it has brought me and others. God truly does turn our mess into beautiful things.