Thank you for all the love and support I have received since going live! Seriously thank you! Stepping out on faith can be so challenging and a big measure of trust. After all our faith is measured by the steps we take and not by the things we just talk about doing.
The Sweetest Gift Blog was birth out of a season of uncertainty and calling to high for me to deny. As you can see from the sweet pictures above, I’m having a baby! A sweet sweet baby!
I remember the exact moment I found out I was pregnant. I hit my knees and prayed that God would make it go away. I was so lost and unconfused. My heart drilled a hole right into my stomach and I could hardly breath. My prayer was a raw confession of this cannot be, all while being fully aware that God is giver of life. I knew God was the one opens and closes wombs as He pleases (Gen 20:18, 29:31, 30:2). He breathes life into beings (Gen 2:7) and ordains all the days of our lives (Ps 139:13-16, Jer 1:5). I knew these things because I had spent time learning His word, but now I had to live it out.
I informed the guy I was dating and by the end of that night he asked me to have an abortion multiple times. An abortion?! As a servant of Jesus and not man (Gal 1:10) I knew that I could not do that because I knew the God who started that second heartbeat living inside of me, but if I am honest it was tempting because I could hide my sin and move on. Nobody would ever know. I could keep my reputation, my job, and life would go on as normal. The only problem there was that I knew better. King David in the bible tried to cover up his adulterous affair by committing murder (2 Samuel 11). I knew that covering my sin with sin was not an option and it would not end well. I had walked through that journey with one too many friends to know the brokenness that comes from abortion. I’d learned that abortion was something you ever fully move on from.
I confessed all that was going on to a dear friend and she embraced me, loved me and reminded of the goodness of God and the sweet gift that new life is regardless of the circumstances. That began the line of hard conversations that need to be had with the people that I loved the most. I had to tell my parents, best friends, my job and community. Confession is hard. Specially when the enemy wants you to hide in shame, but every time I shared my shortcomings I felt the freedom of Christ.
Today, I am so grateful that God has entrusted this precious baby to me. The parenting journey may be long and hard and I may not always know what to do, but one thing that I know for sure is that I have been called to make disciples and that I know how to do!
Accepting this Sweet Gift did not come easy. It came with a lot of heartache and trial. Never in a million years did I imagine I would become a single mom, be fired from my job, a private Christian School, for falling short of God’s perfect standard for being pregnant and not married, but God in His mercy has made His purpose for me so clear.
My brokenness and sin do not define me. Jesus loved me so much He paid the price for my past, present and future sin. His blood on Calvary has made me white as snow!
And even when there was moment when I did not feel worthy to be loved and He said to me, ” Analy, I love you and you still love me. I make all things good for those who have been called according to My purposes and you are still called! You still have a purpose and I will make all things good.” I will continue to trust my Jesus with the details of what is next in my story. I pray that no matter what is going on in your life you know that you are never too far broken for God to heal and use you! He knows you by name and loves you more than you’ll ever know.